like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
