remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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