...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
