My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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