I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
