Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
