I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
