That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
