A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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