capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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