i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
