I love black thongs
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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