She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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