dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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