Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i may or may not be watching the land before time
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need water and some morals
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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