So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
