I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
