she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
