Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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