It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
