i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
