i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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