sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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