I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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