wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
