I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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