I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
