if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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