No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
