my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
