I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
