it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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