New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
