I cockslap morals
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
