just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
