y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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