I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
