Your tits are I can't wait for
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
