The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
