So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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