The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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