been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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