and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
