dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
