You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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