I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
