Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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