Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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