he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
