Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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